Love Me, Not My Shadow
by Chaotic Sereniti
Summary: EdxHeiderich, slight implied Elricest. Edward says the wrong name. [moved to more appropriate category]


**Love Me, Not My Shadow**

Edward sat at his desk, reading over some new literature he had acquired, a pencil stuck in his high ponytail. He was so absorbed in the text, he didn't even register that his lover had walked in until Heiderich came up behind him and slid his arms around Edward's chest, planting a soft kiss on his neck. Unfortunately, Edward was so distracted that without even thinking about it, he accidentally said, "Hey Alphonse." Heiderich tensed and withdrew his arms with a frown. A second too late, Edward realized his mistake and swiveled around, an apology apparent in his eyes. He opened his mouth to verbalize this, but Heiderich beat him to it.

"That's the third time this week, Edward. And…you do it all the time in your sleep." Heiderich admitted as a glimmer of sadness slipped into his eyes. Edward said softly, "I'm sorry. It…was an accident."

Anger seeped into Heiderich's voice and gaze as he retorted, "I know that! If I thought you were doing this on purpose, I'd kick you out for being so cruel! It's not that I want you to apologize. I want you to love me, not my shadow!"

Edward was momentarily hurt by this declaration, but then quickly masked it with anger of his own. He spat out, "_You're_ the shadow, not him!"

Stunned pain clouded Heiderich's face as the blow hit home, touching on a fear he had often felt. He knew he was only second in Edward's heart compared to Alphonse, but he tried to convince himself that that was silly, that the younger man loved him too.

Now he knew better…now he knew _precisely_ where he ranked when it came to Edward's heart. His eyes hardened over as he lowered his head and said very low, but clear, "Get out."

Edward's golden eyes widened in shock as he registered what the blonde had said. "What?" he whispered. Heiderich responded in that same soft controlled voice, "You heard me. Get out." Edward narrowed his eyes, then proceeded to stand and walk by the hurt boy, taking care not to touch him.

As Edward could be heard packing just down the hall, Heiderich walked into his own bedroom and sat down on the bed and allowed the tears to start their journey down his face. He made sure he was quiet; he wouldn't dare give Edward that victory, no matter how small it may be.

The shorter blonde walked by the open door and paused, looking in at the broken person sitting on the bed. Heiderich unwillingly looked up and cloudy eyes, so like Alphonse's, met Edward's and he simply couldn't stand the sight of those misery-filled eyes, misery-filled because of him. Because he couldn't keep another out of his heart. Edward picked up his suitcase and walked out of the house, the 'click' of the front door wrenching a sob from Heiderich.

Heiderich opened his eyes, puffy and pink from earlier tears. He looked around the room and upon seeing it depressingly empty, got up and made his way to the kitchen, intending to make a hot cup of tea for himself. As he reached the kitchen and grabbed a mug, he saw out of the corner of his eye Edward's brown coat slung carelessly over the back of a nearby chair. 'He must have forgotten it in his hurry to leave.' Heiderich thought. Suddenly very tired despite having taken a nap, he let the mug drop unceremoniously back down on the counter. Sighing, he pulled on the coat and walked out of the door, intent on finding Edward.

Heiderich stood in front of the inn the passing man had told him about. It had been remarkably easy to find Edward, seeing as how not many people had golden eyes, even though it was dark already. Bracing himself for the impending fight (he knew Edward far too well sometimes), he walked up the steps and asked the innkeeper which room the young man was staying in. The innkeeper was pleasant, and directed him to the room. When he reached the door, he simply opened it, not bothering to knock.

Edward was asleep on the bed, arm thrown casually over his eyes. A tray of uneaten food lay on a close by table. His suitcase was poking out from under the bed, unopened. 'Knowing Edward,' Heiderich mused, 'it had probably started out across the room, and he kicked it for looking at him wrong.'

Heiderich stood over his blonde lover for a moment before lifting his arm up and letting it drop back down. It was the prosthetic arm, so it hurt a lot more, therefore it warranted louder swearing when it crashed back down on the boy's forehead. Edward raised up on his elbows, fully prepared to ask the rude jerk who had barged into his room uninvited who he thought he was, but the words died in his throat as he saw exactly who the aforementioned rude jerk was.

Heiderich sat on the edge of the bed beside Edward, and picked up his prosthetic hand. Edward looked at him questioningly.

"This is not here because of me. This is here because of him, because of your love for him. I know that he plays the lead, and I'm just an understudy filling in. But I would rather be the understudy than not play at all." Heiderich said very softly as he held Edward's false hand.

Edward's eyes softened and he clung to Heiderich, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry…" Edward murmured. Heiderich just held him, and he realized that Edward would never love him the way he loved Alphonse, but that was okay. Like he had said, better to play a small role than to not play at all.

**-Fin-**

**(A/N: This is my first HeiderichxEd ficcie, so be gentle. How did I do?)**


End file.
